Why do the distant past never seem to be able to allow me to move on? why is history repeating itself with different characters but similar setting? why can't things just be as it it!?

i had it with all the events that has arose; seems like everytime i try to do something for myself, to make myself happy, apparently it always back fires!! is it so impossible to make myself happy and others at the same time? why is my own decision be judged by others again? Can't you guys just mind your own business!? Must i always be the bigger man and always walk away from the things that meant to me most? 1st is lil one, 2nd is band, 3rd is SCC... but no worries, i'll walk away from all in order to make everyone happy, to keep hatred away from me, to keep skeptism away from me, to keep my interagity intact, most importantly to keep most people happy.

Don't need to leave the band because of me, i'll leave it for you sake since u made it so clear it's my fault. Don't start something that you cannot finish.

i felt so dumb to reject lil one's call.. i know ur're worried... but i'm simply too fustrated..fustrated at the fact that what i forecasted might happen to you just a few hours ago acutally unfolded.. fustrated at the negative feedback i got from people whom i thought are acutally receptive instead of deceptive; those who only judge me for whom i appear to me and not whom i'm really am..

guess i shall walk alone like i always do... one less worries for all... *shurgs*

Mood: "given up"
Song playing now: 冰雨 - Andy Lau

P.S: for all loveless, self-contradicting, self-pitying people out there, this is for you
"if you love someone, don't hesitate, go for it, don't wait till you find it gone only then to start panicking, and most importantly, stay on course and stay faithful to what you initially set out to do, if not when things don't work out, don't hit out and put a front that makes people around you worry, you'll be hurting the people who care for you and those whom you least expected to..."

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Hello. I'm Desmond.
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